There are a few reasons I stepped away from blogging as long as I did.
First of all, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, our lives were absolutely insane. Incidentally, I compared myself to a chicken - a clear foreshadowing of the terrible things to come these past few weeks.
We were in the middle of the Longest Move in the History of Ever (so long, in fact, it deserves proper noun status). The short story is after two months, the move was complete. But, as always in life, there's a longer, messier, more painful story behind it all.
|The blood and guts of our new|
At this point, our house isn't completely renovated, either. There's still a few months left of work, at least. But we're living here, and that's all that matters to us. After 2 unexpected months of bumming a basement off of your mom, you'll take what you can get.
Really, though, I had time to blog while we lived at my mom's house. But I didn't. Again, the real story is a bit messier than the short of it all. As you may remember, we took a month-long fast from media. Our fast led to my initial withdrawal from the internet in general.
The crazy thing is, when we withdrew, God gave us a new perspective. It certainly helped me, as a blogger, to put things in their proper places. I realized, among other things, that blogging, in the grand scheme of things, isn't all it's talked up to be.
Now before you proceed, please realize these words won't be popular. After all, I'm writing them on a blog, of all things. But they're words that need to be said, even if no one else is willing to publicly say them.
You see, most people I talk with view blogging as a stepping stone to something "bigger." If only you can reach the "magic" number of page views every day, you'll "make it." If only you could carve out your own untouchable niche in the vast world wide web, you'll be "famous." All it takes is one "big break," and you're "set" for life. You'll be able to "make a difference." You'll have your "dream job."
In reality, all the hype amounts to something that isn't much of anything.
Blogging, in its purest form, is writing. It's voicing thoughts, opinions, stories, reflection, and all sorts of other information. It's a medium, at best. And it's a medium which is a stepping stone to... you guessed it, another medium.
You see, if you're lucky as a blogger, you'll be able to do some cool reviews, get a few sweet perks, and if you're really "up there," you'll get published. And that, people, is the crown and glory of the blogging world. You just might, after all your time, hard work, and investment, get to write a book or two which could "change some lives."
And while this pursuit is noble, even becoming a well-respected, renowned author isn't all it's cut out to be. A book may live on beyond your time, but it won't last forever.
This, my friends, is the renovation God has been doing in my heart. It's ugly. It's bare. It's hardly even functional. And frankly, it's not a renovation which will be popular with anyone in the blogosphere.
|The beginnings of something new -|
the reward of renovation
So maybe someday I'll write a book. Or "make it" as a blogger.
But until then, I'm remembering I'm meant for something even more than authorship. I'm meant for more than my own crown and glory (no matter how noble it seems to myself or others). I'm not alive to make a difference in a few lives, or even in the world. I'm not even here to be a great leader. I'm here to bring about the everlasting, eternal Kingdom of God which Christ has led, is leading, and will lead forever. I'm here to follow, not to lead. I'm here to proclaim his words, his thoughts, his heart - not my own. Not for me, not for my well-being, not for my future.
This renovation has been painful, brutal, and downright destructive. There's nothing pretty, catchy, or popular about it.
But I'm starting to see, as the rubble is swept away, a glimmer of something beautiful, something which will outshine this life into eternity.
... ... ...
What renovation has been taking place in your own life? I'd love to hear about it in the comments section.